


A Month of Cuddles

by notjustmom



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cuddles, Established Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, M/M, Mostly ridiculous fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-10-19 04:14:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 11,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20651024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/pseuds/notjustmom
Summary: From this list of prompts from tumblr:In bedOn the couch/loveseatOn the floorIn front of the fireplaceIn the back seat of the carFor warmthFor comfortReluctantlyTotally platonicTotally romanticPost-coitalJust waking upFalling asleepIn publicIn the darkWith rain outsideWith snow outsideWhile someone’s cryingWhile someone’s sickPost-proposalIn the water/in the bathCongratulatoryReunionBetween strangersWith a first kissIn lieu of kissingFirst cuddleFamiliar cuddleLast cuddle (if you’re feeling super angsty)Out of necessity (trapped in a small space, etc.I will be writing an Ironstrange fic a day for a month, or at least attempt to.





	1. Day 1: In Bed

They weren’t even sure what time or day of the week it was when they finally managed to strip out of the remains of their clothing and fall into bed. It was around three in the morning on a Sunday in September. The year doesn’t really matter, but it’s enough to say that they were both old enough that they knew they were too old to still be trying to save the world or the universe or whatever it was that needed saving that day. 

Tony opened his eyes first, and let his gaze wander over Stephen’s still sleeping form. For once, he had time to see him, truly see him, the long lines and remarkable curves that he had fallen in love with so long ago. He sighed as he watched Stephen slowly come to life, the iridescent eyes blinked at him and his full lips curled into a questioning grin, but instead of his usual self-deprecating comment that he would normally greet the day with, he reached out and pulled Tony against his chest and kissed his hair. 

No words were spoken as Tony draped his arm over Stephen’s hip leaving as little space between them as possible. His last conscious thought before they drifted off to sleep again was if they would someday finally merge together, becoming one being. He was only a bit surprised to find that he didn’t mind the idea at all.


	2. Day 2: On the Couch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this verse, they are together before Afghanistan; this bit takes place a few weeks after Tony's return.

It had been three weeks since Tony had stepped off the plane and into his arms. He had offered to take time off from work, but had been gently rebuffed and Tony had disappeared into the workshop, only coming up for air when he needed coffee or a shower, and he hadn't said a word about what had happened in Afghanistan until the afternoon Stephen came home early to find Tony curled up on the couch. 

"Sorry." 

Stephen knelt down next to him and couldn't help but reach out and brush the curl from his eyes and tuck it behind his ear. "What could you have done to be sorry for?"

Tony rolled his eyes and slowly sat up. Stephen could see how much pain he was in, and there were so many questions he wanted to ask, but more than anything, he just wanted to hold him. Tony drew in a sharp breath, and after a moment lifted his t-shirt over his head and let it fall from his fingers. "I was badly injured when they blew up the humvee I was traveling in. I woke up to find that I was only alive because I had an electromagnet in my chest, and it was attached to a car battery. I spent the next couple of weeks making this," he tapped on the arc reactor in his chest and went on, "and then I made a suit of armor, and eventually blasted out of there. That's the short version, I know it's crazy, but it's true. I wasn't sure - I didn't know -" he rubbed his face, then finally met Stephen's eyes for the first time since he had been home. "I'm so tired, Stephen."

Stephen nodded and whispered, "tell me what I can do."

Tony searched his eyes, then leaned forward and brushed his lips against Stephen's forehead, and rasped out, "just hold me?"

"Yeah. I think I can manage that." He got to his feet, then helped Tony from the couch. Stephen slowly loosened his tie, and removed it, then began to unbutton his shirt, but Tony reached out and laid his hand over his fingers. "Let me. Please?"

Stephen let his arms drop and he closed his eyes and shivered as he felt Tony's fingers work his shirt open, then push it from his shoulders and let it fall to the floor. "I've missed -" he bit his lip as he looked down into Tony's exhausted eyes, then stretched out on the couch and offered Tony his hand. Tony grabbed onto it as if it were a lifeline, then all but fell onto the couch and into Stephen's arms.

"I was afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"That you wouldn't want me anymore."

Stephen tightened his arms around him and murmured, "there will never be a time when I don't want you, Tony." He pressed his lips into his hair and breathed out a sigh of relief as he heard Tony let out a rumble of a snore, and he knew he was finally home.


	3. Day 3: On the Floor

It had taken Tony far too long to find Stephen after their fight, and even longer to convince him to come back to the States and take up his place in the New York Sanctum. He understood from Wong that Stephen needed time and space before he could expect any resemblance to the man he had known before the accident and his journey of soul-searching that had sent him to Kamar-Taj in order to discover _‘his true place in the world.’_

He was willing to give him as much time and space that he needed, as long as there was a chance that one day they could come close to what they once had been. After six long months, he was finally summoned to the Sanctum. He was in the middle of tedious negotiations between the government and what was left of the Avengers, but when he saw Wong’s blunt text of:

_Come. You are needed. Wong_

he closed his presentation, made brief excuses and left the company in shocked silence as he left the room, and the building without another word, nearly breaking every driving law known to man, and inventing laws that hadn’t been thought of before just so he could break them in order to get to the Sanctum.

“Where is he?” He had asked in a breathless gasp, then followed the cloak as she led him to her master’s study to find Stephen in the middle of the floor, eyes closed as if deeply in meditation.

“Stephen.”

“Tony. You came.”

“Of course, I did. You asked for me.”

“Uhm, yeah. Could you just come over here and lie down next to me?”

“I can, no guarantee I’ll get back up again -”

“Stark.”

Tony cringed as he recalled that pained voice, only too well. Stephen had thrown out his back a few times when they had been together, and now, even with all his magic tricks and spells, he found himself flat on his back again, unable to move. He sighed, but slowly made his way over to Stephen, stretched out next to him, and waited.

“I was on my way to see you, but then my back went into spasm, and Wong tried everything before he finally texted you. It was a matter of his pride just as much as it was mine. I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for? It was my fault that you were angry, that you got into that car and into the accident.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“Strange.”

“Tony,” he whimpered, and Tony bit his lip as he could see the pain ripple over his former lover’s face, then ease slightly as he controlled his panic. “I was going to propose to you that night, but I lost my nerve, and then I started that stupid argument so I wouldn’t have to ask you, just in case you would’ve said no. I know - damn it - it was idiotic. And then I lost everything, and I thought -”

“You’re right, you’re an idiot. Don’t you have any heating pads or ice packs in this museum?”

“Please, don’t make me laugh.”

“How long have you been flat on your back?”

“Three days, I think, but time is relative here.”

“Three days. Damn, and I thought government people were morons. No medical personnel in Kamar-Taj? You forgot how we used to fix this?”

Stephen turned his head gingerly and met Tony’s fond gaze. “I remember,” he whispered, barely audible above the noise of the traffic outside and the rumble of thunder that signaled that they might be losing power in the not too distant future. “I just didn’t want anyone but you to touch me.”

“That’s sweet, but you’re still an idiot.” He sighed at the face he had once known so well, and would learn again. “I’m going to get up, and see ask if you have any non-magical heat sources that I can put on your back -” he rolled his eyes as Stephen shook his head carefully.

“Just you.”

“Right. You know you aren’t getting rid of me so easily this time?”

“I know.”

Tony reached out and traced the lips he had missed for so long with a single trembling finger, then helped Stephen shift onto his side and curled up behind him. He couldn’t help but let out a tiny whimper as he felt Stephen began to relax against him. “Stephen.” He held his breath as he draped his arm over his hip, then let it go slowly as he felt the sorcerer’s fingers cover his hesitantly, as if afraid Tony would pull away from him. “Idiot. Don’t you know if I had my way, we’d never leave this spot? Will you promise never to marry me for the rest of your life?”

He felt Stephen’s chuckle, then heard him whisper as he shifted again in order to get closer, “I promise, Tony.”


	4. Day 4: In Front of the Fireplace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically a continuation of day 3...

At some point, he had finally managed to fall asleep, and when he opened his eyes hours later to find he was still on the floor, there was now a roaring fire in the fireplace, and Tony was still there, still draped around him. He was no longer in pain, but he was afraid to move. He was quite positive he wasn't ready for their next conversation, but he knew Tony knew he was awake, so after a moment he sighed and took a chance to roll in his arms.

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty."

"I'm sure you have something better -" his words stopped short as he saw the look in Tony's eyes.

"No. I don't."

"I'm -"

"Nope."

"I know -"

"No, you don't. What I do know is that one day soon, maybe even later today, or tonight as the case happens to be, I will do or say something idiotic, and when I do, I hope you will remember what I am going to say right now. Don't interrupt me, Doc, okay?" Stephen nodded and closed his mouth tightly. 

"Okay. Right. We can't really start over, we just have too much history for that, but as I've been here for hours doing nothing but breathing and thinking as I held you while you slept, I realized again how much I love you, and how much you drive me absolutely bat shit crazy, but it's absolutely worth it, you are everything to me, and if you asked me to spend the rest of my life doing nothing but this, I would. And you, you know me better than anyone else ever has, so you know I am many things, and I have done many things in my past - but I have never lied to you, not ever. So when I tell you I have nothing better I could be doing with my time than be here with you, you know it's the truth." He finally took a breath, and slowly blew it out again, then closed his mouth.

"Are you done?"

"Yes. I think so."

"Good." He reached over and placed a trembling hand on Tony's face and watched as his eyes closed. He tried to think of the right word to say and for all the words he knew, nothing quite seemed to be the right one. But he cleared his throat and squinted at Tony as his eyes opened again. "Can you help me up?"

"Yeah. I think I can manage that." Tony grinned at him, then leaned closer and and kissed the tip of his nose, then his forehead, and before Stephen could think of something else to say, Tony had stood up, and was holding him in his arms. 

He blinked up into the smiling brown eyes then sighed as Tony shook his head at him, and leaned down to kiss him, sweetly and unapologetically, and knew he had been forgiven, but he needed to know, so he asked him, "you really would, wouldn't you? If I asked you to -"

"What? Spend the rest of my life holding you?" He nodded and bit his lip as he watched Tony roll his eyes, then smile again. "Yeah, Doc, I would. But I think we should get some dinner first, hmm?"


	5. Day 5: In the Back Seat...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still the same boys, going back in time a bit, to after Tony has returned from Afghanistan, and they are adjusting to things. More on the angsty side...
> 
> (In this verse they are the same age, both twenty in 1990)

"What?" Tony grumbled as he knew Stephen was standing in the doorway of the workshop, studying him in that way that he had. After a moment, he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair and spun in his chair to face him. Honestly, he was surprised that Stephen hadn't left him yet. 

No. 

No, he wouldn't do that, not unless he actively pushed him to, and even then, he knew he wouldn't. There was something intrinsically loyal about the man he loved. But it was more than that and he knew it. He swore as he tried to catch his breath, but was just too tired.

As Stephen had gently informed him, once he understood what had happened in Afghanistan, he would always be in some degree of pain, just breathing at times would be difficult, as if he had to be told - he closed his eyes and sighed as Stephen had moved silently into the workshop and helped him out of his chair and into his arms. He leaned into the warmth and after a few moments was able to take a deep breath and focus on Stephen's scent. He had just worked an eighteen hour shift, but there was only a slight trace of the OR, he always showered when he got home before he did anything else, no matter how exhausted he was. He smelled more of marinara and garlic and as his own stomach rumbled, he realized it had been nearly a day since he had eaten last. Stephen had watched him eat a waffle before he had kissed his hair and headed off to work.

"It'll keep. Come with me." Stephen looked down into his eyes and smiled at him, then grabbed his hand and led him over to the '57 Bel Air convertible, (the first car they had ever made out in, much to Howard's dismay) opened the door, then climbed into the backseat and held out his hand. Tony hesitated for a moment, then nodded and watched as Stephen stretched out and pulled him into his arms. He closed his eyes and breathed in all the scents that reminded him he was actually home.

"Do you remember?" He asked quietly as he curled up as tightly as he could against Stephen's chest.

"Course I do. I wasn't sure what your father was more pissed off about, the fact that you had borrowed the car without his permission when we took it out that night, or that you were making out with a guy."

"The car. Definitely the car. He always cared more about his cars -" Tony laughed ruefully as he sat up and rubbed at his chest and swore a blue streak. 

"It will -"

"It won't ever get better."

"I wasn't going to say that. I was going to say, 'It will take time, but we will find something to make it easier.' You need time to heal. What movie did we see that night?"

"What?"

"At the drive-in, what movie did we see?"

Tony closed his eyes, and even as he knew Stephen was just trying to distract him, he relaxed in his arms again. He took a breath and muttered, "it was the Fourth of July, 1990, a Wednesday. Die Hard 2, then there were fireworks after -"

"Yeah, there sure were..." Stephen murmured into his hair and Tony couldn't help but laugh. They lapsed into silence for a few minutes, until they were interrupted by the unmistakable rumble of both of their stomachs. "Hungry?"

Tony nodded. "In a minute?"

Stephen wrapped his arms tighter around him and whispered, "we have all the time in the world. Well, at least until my next shift which doesn't start for another eighteen hours."

Tony froze in his arms and looked up into his eyes. "If I asked you - never mind."

"Ask me."

"Hypothetically -"

"Ask me, Tony."

"Would you ever quit?"

"Yes."

"Yes? That easily?"

"For you, I'd do anything."

"But -"

"It saved me when you were missing, I had something to focus on, I didn't have to come home to an empty house. I know it's easier for you when I'm not around sometimes, you don't want to show me you're in pain. I know you are. I'd rather be here taking care of you, and yes, you do need me to take care of you, whether you want to admit it or not."

"Will you quit?"

"Right after dinner."

"Fine." Tony sighed and closed his eyes again, and focused on the sound of Stephen's breathing that seemed to surround him, almost as if he was trying to breathe for them both.


	6. Day 6: For Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> from early days...

Tony looked at his watch for the third time in ten minutes, then swore as the lights fizzled out; the old furnace in their building had given out at two that morning, just as the snow had started, and Stephen was over an hour and a half late coming home from the library. He sighed as he felt his way into the kitchen and lit the candles that had been permanent fixtures a couple weeks after they had moved into what one could call a dump, but that would be kind. 

Ever since he and Howard had finally had it out over Stephen, he hadn't taken a dime from the account his father had set up in his name, with a brisk note letting him know it was only because he couldn't allow a Stark to work for a living. There had been no communication from him for the last couple of years, though his mother left messages on his birthday and at Christmas. He wasn't ready to call her back yet. Stephen was all the family he needed.

_Family._

He snorted then shivered, and it finally registered he was actually feeling the cold, and night had fallen over an hour ago. He had been home from his shift at the bookstore for three hours and was still thawing out. He pulled on a sweatshirt and one of Stephen's sweaters, but was still freezing, and Stephen wasn't home yet. He considered putting on his boots and jacket again, and going out to look for him, but he knew it was just better to wait. He knew if something really bad had happened, he would know, he would just feel it somehow. 

He carried a candle into the front room and stood at the window for a moment, seeing nothing but white, and a single figure, head down, trudging slowly around the maze of abandoned cars. He sighed with relief as the figure looked up at their window and raised his hand which held a bag from their favorite burger place in one hand, and Tony noted a six pack in the other. He lifted his hand and couldn't help but smile, even though he knew Stephen couldn't see his face. He turned from the window, unfolded the sofa bed and piled on the blankets, then walked over to the door and waited until he heard Stephen trying to stomp the snow from his boots while he unlocked the six locks on the door.

"Hey." Stephen breathed out as he handed him the beer and bag. "Sorry, I'm -" Tony shook his head and placed the food and bottles on the floor carefully, then pulled Stephen into the apartment and pressed him against the wall with one hand as he closed and locked the door with the other, then kissed him hard before he began removing Stephen's soaking wet scarf. "Missed me, hmm? Power out again? You know -"

"Nope." He worked Stephen's jacket from his shoulders, then hung it on the hook on the wall, and looked up into Stephen's eyes. "I can't. If he can't bother to try to understand me, understand us, and respect our relationship, I don't want anything from him. I know it sucks, but one day, it will get easier, I promise." He reached for Stephen's hands and swore. "How are you going to be a world-class surgeon if your fingers freeze off? You should've told me, I would've given you my gloves."

Stephen grinned down at him and threaded their fingers together. "I'm starving, can we just climb into bed and eat before I do freeze to death? I promise you can yell at me all you want as soon as I can feel my ears again."

"Sorry." Tony picked up the bag and beer from the floor and carried them to the table, then turned to find Stephen trembling in front of him. He sighed and helped him to sit on the edge of the bed, then carefully removed his damp clothes and tucked him under the stack of blankets and knelt next to him. "I do love you, you know. I was about a minute from going out to find you. I'm not sure what I would do if I lost you."

Stephen reached out his hand from under the blankets and brushed a curl from Tony's face. "You won't. You think a little snow is going to stop me from getting home to you? You know, you're the only family I have too. You're it for me. Now get out of those clothes, and get in this bed with me and warm me up, yeah?"

Tony undressed as quickly as he could, then climbed into the bed and pulled Stephen into his arms. "I swear, one day, I'll buy you all the gloves you could ever want -"

"All I want is you," Stephen whispered against his chest. "Well, you and a cheeseburger, when I can feel my fingers again." Tony laughed then sighed as he heard Stephen's breathing change, and knew the burgers would wait until the morning.


	7. Day 7: For Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony gets bad news...

As he did every morning before class, Stephen stopped at the newsstand to get a glimpse of what was happening to the rest of the world. This morning as he chatted with the owner, his breath caught as he saw the headlines, and his hand trembled as he paid for a copy of the Times, then turned and ran the five blocks back home.

He let himself into the apartment, and found Tony sitting on the edge of the bed, the phone still in his hand. He tossed the paper onto the table, and gently took the phone from him, then hung it up. Without a word, he kicked off his shoes and undressed, then climbed into bed and waited. There wasn't anything he could say or do to make it better, all he could do was be there. 

"You're going to be late for class." Tony mumbled without turning to look at him. "I'm fine." Stephen reached out his hand and touched Tony's back, and sighed as he felt him flinch under his fingers. "I'm fine, Stephen. I'm -" Stephen removed his hand and held his breath as Tony stopped talking and laid down in the bed. After a long moment of silence Tony turned his head and looked at him. "Why does it hurt, Stephen? It shouldn't even bother me, but it hurts."

"Of course it hurts, no matter what they did or didn't do, they were still your parents. They were your family, and they are gone. You didn't get a chance to say good-bye to them -"

"Stephen." 

"Tell me what I can do."

"Just hold onto me? I feel like I'm shattering apart."

"Come 'ere." Tony tucked himself against Stephen's chest and breathed out a relieved sob as Stephen wrapped his arms around him and held on tightly. "I'm here, Tony, and I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise?"

"I promise."


	8. Day 8: Reluctant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a bit more angst...

All Stephen could do was watch as Tony made his way to the front of the sanctuary. 

He had listened and held on as Tony listed all the reasons why he didn't need to go, gave every excuse he could think of to avoid going but after an hour after receiving the news of his parents' death, he had reached for the phone and in a few hours had arranged everything, down to making sure the church would be filled with his mother's favorite flowers. Not the traditional white flowers, but irises and sunflowers. He had hung up the phone and rubbed his face, and tried to smile at him, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. He sighed and picked up the phone again, and made a reservation for two coach tickets to Los Angeles leaving the next day, then changed his mind and switched them to first class, then let the phone fall from his fingers.

He had looked up at him and said quietly, "damn, I should have asked you first, if you actually wanted to go with me, I'm sure you'd rather sit through three lectures than fly across the country to hold my hand."

Stephen had reached over and replaced the receiver, then set the alarm for two hours before their plane took off, pulled Tony into his arms and they had slept eight hours.

As Tony spoke the required, but surprisingly heartfelt and gentle words, his eyes never left Stephen's, as if he were speaking only to him instead of to the crowd of over five hundred that had piled into the church; the media had been kept out, but were lurking in the parking lot waiting for any sight of the estranged son and his rumored partner. Anything on an otherwise slow news day. Tony had suggested he wait back at the hotel once, then looked up into his eyes and didn't make the suggestion again. 

Tony returned to his place next to Stephen, and slipped his hand into his and held on as they sat through the next two hours of words that slowly became drivel, then sat in silence until the church cleared out until they were the only two left in the building. 

Tony lifted their joined hands to his lips and pressed a kiss to Stephen's knuckles, then whispered brokenly, "thank you."

Stephen shook his head and asked in his normal voice, which seemed too loud for his own ears, "what for?"

"For being here, for understanding that I needed to be here, for making me do this."

"You needed to say good-bye to them. I was too young to go to the funeral for my parents, and I knew maybe you wouldn't feel it next week, or next year, but eventually you would regret it if you hadn't done this. They are where you came from, and whether you like to admit it, they helped you become the person you are, the person I love. I think one day, they would have realized what they were missing -" 

Tony looked into his eyes, then hesitantly leaned against Stephen's shoulder, and sobbed quietly as Stephen wrapped his arm around him and kissed his hair, then murmured, "let's go home."


	9. Day 9: Totally Platonic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day they met, in less than ideal circumstances...

They were an odd couple from the beginning. 

Tony Stark was, well, Tony Stark - loud, rich, and in the news from the age of four, not to mention, brilliant; to make matters worse, he knew it. 

Stephen Strange was quiet, too quiet, which made him stand out in his own way, and on scholarship. 

Tony could do the work in his sleep, which left too much time to alienate most of the students and staff he came into contact with, while Stephen took his time to study, even though he didn't need to - the library had become his sanctuary, it was safe and quiet, and he was generally left to himself. Until the day he wasn't.

It began the way most arguments begin, with a misunderstanding, an insult and a mean left hook. Stephen had misunderstood, a classmate had taken offense and insulted him at the exact moment when Tony Stark made his first and only appearance in the library that year, and landed the punch on the jaw of the student who was at least six inches taller and forty pounds heavier than him, and led to the first brawl that the librarian could remember in the thirty years that he had worked there.

When Tony opened his eyes, he found himself looking into the most beautiful face he had ever seen. "I'm -"

"Yeah, I know who you are, everyone knows who you are. I only have one question for you, why?"

"Why, what?"

"I'm nobody, you don't know me -"

Tony groaned as he tried and failed to sit up in Stephen's arms. "You're Stephen Strange, I read that paper you published when you were sixteen, you're brilliant. I'm sorry. I just can't stand by when some asshole uses that word against anyone."

"I've been called worse," Stephen muttered.

"Yeah, so have I, but I've never let someone get away with it before, and I'm not going to start now."

"He could have killed you."

"Yeah, but he didn't, and maybe he'll think twice before he speaks like that again."

"It will be awhile before he says anything. You broke his jaw." Stephen managed to laugh in spite of the situation, or maybe he laughed because of the situation he had found himself in. "Can you stand up?"

"I think so. Uhm, I don't normally do anything like this, but, would it be too forward to ask -"

"What are you doing after class?" Tony grinned and Stephen couldn't help but smile back as he stood up and helped Tony to his feet. "Can I buy you a terrible slice of pizza from the cafeteria?"

"Make it a terrible cheeseburger, and it's a deal."


	10. Day 10: Totally Romantic

All he wanted was a hot shower and go straight to bed, but when he finally opened the door and dropped his key on the table he sighed as Tony had turned off all the lights and lit every candle they had.

"Tony?"

"Sunshine." Tony got up from the bed and walked over to him. "Come 'ere."

"I -" He nodded and made his way into Tony's arms, and leaned his head against his shoulder.

"I know you are exhausted, and you just want a shower and go to bed - but it's our anniversary."

Stephen lifted his head and looked into Tony's shining eyes.

"Anniversary of -?"

"The day we met. In the library? Five years ago today, well, technically yesterday."

"Tony." He sighed as Tony all but carried him to the bed and settled him on the edge, knelt in front of him to remove his shoes, then easily removed his scrubs, and tucked him into bed.

"That day changed my life, d'ya know that? I was prepared to fly through MIT and go home and work for the family business, but when I opened my eyes and saw it was you holding me in your arms, I knew it didn't matter what else I did in my life, because I finally knew what I was born to do."

"What's that?" Stephen asked in a rough whisper, as Tony climbed into bed and curled around him.

"Love you."

"Damn, you old romantic. I love you, Stark, just don't let the apartment burn..." his voice faded and Tony kissed his forehead lightly as he let out a contented snore.


	11. Day 11: After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after their first time...

He collapsed onto Tony's chest and sighed as he felt his arms curl around him. He wanted to tell him that he'd never felt this way about anyone before, of course he was only eighteen, as of last month, so it didn't mean much; he wanted to tell him about everything that he was feeling at that moment, but found he was at a loss for words.

He shivered as Tony pressed his lips into his hair and whispered, "I love you, Sunshine. Maybe it's too soon to tell you that, but I know what I know, and I guess I knew the first time I saw you. You were sitting outside under a tree reading, and the sunlight hit you just right and you looked up in my direction, your eyes just glowed, and I couldn't breathe. I just thought you should know."

Stephen carefully sat up and looked into the warm, brown eyes and nodded. "Love you, too." He leaned against the headboard and closed his eyes as Tony rested against his shoulder. "I know it is going to sound weird, but I feel like I've known you, like always?" He felt the breath Tony had been holding, as he let it go. "Always." He wrapped his arm around him and watched as he fell asleep.


	12. Day 12: Waking up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the attack on New York...

Tony sighed as Stephen brushed light kisses across his shoulders, avoiding the scrapes and bruises from two days earlier.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up."

He groaned quietly as he turned in Stephen's arms and muttered against his chest, "yeah you did, Sunshine, but I don't mind."

"Did you think about me at all when you made the decision to fly that nuke through the wormhole?"

Tony moved closer against him and whispered, "you were all I thought about. I thought about how the light hits you when you wake up in the morning, and how you roll your eyes at me when I'm being an idiot, and I knew you would hate it if I didn't get back, but you would be okay eventually, you would understand why."

Stephen tightened his arms around him carefully and kissed his hair. "You're an idiot."

"I know. Do you mind if we just stay in bed today?"

"I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be." He sighed into his hair and held on just a little bit tighter. "Love you."

"Love you too, Sunshine."


	13. Day 13: Falling Asleep

It had been weeks since Stephen had returned, and Tony had moved into the Sanctum; they were slowly settling into a new life together, and yet, Tony still had questions. Questions he wasn't completely sure he wanted the answers to, but he knew he needed to know, or at the very least, he knew Stephen needed to tell him.

"Wong?" Tony looked up from his work to find the librarian in the doorway.

"He needs to sleep. But he does not do well without you." Tony watched as he seemed to disappear into the shadows as if by _magic._ Magic. He ran his fingers through his hair and mumbled, "JARVIS, work on the new update, check for any errors, I'll be back in a few hours."

"I'm sure your calculations are correct as always, sir."

"Thanks for that. Night, JARVIS."

"Night, sir."

Tony yawned as he made his way out the door and up the stairs to their bedroom. "Stephen?"

"I didn't - I apologize for Wong. He is unfortunately too aware of my sleeping, or non-sleeping habits as the case seems to be. I hope you weren't in the middle of something important."

"Just a routine update. Nothing crucial."

Stephen offered him a rare grin and shook his head. "Tony."

"Nope, Sunshine. There are reasons I don't sleep until I crash, and you know most of them. I think there must be all kinds of things you see when you close your eyes that you haven't told me about, either because you can't, or because you don't trust me enough -"

"Tony. I - that's the first time you've called me that since before - I'm not the same person I was -" He looked away from Tony's gaze and froze as Tony carefully touched his hands.

"I don't expect you to be. You gave me time when I came back, you let me adjust to what I had become, and you gave up everything to be there for me. I want to know what happened to you, but only when you are ready to tell me. But right now, you need to sleep."

"Sleep. Right. It isn't that -"

"No, I know it isn't that simple, but let me try to help you. You aren't alone."

"I'm so sorry." Stephen sighed as he watched Tony bring his fingers to his lips. "I shouldn't have left the way I did, I just thought -"

"No more thinking, Sunshine. It's me, I know you, _knew_ you, and I'm here because I want to know the new you. I want to give you the chances you gave me. I know how hard it is, look at me, please?"

Stephen lifted his eyes to find Tony smiling at him, in a way he remembered from years before. "Tony."

"Yeah, it's me. I'm here."

"I'm - I need to warn you -"

"Nightmares."

Stephen nodded. "I can't -"

"I know." Tony undressed Stephen slowly, then helped him into bed, and climbed in after him, and instinctively curled around him. "Close your eyes, Doc. I'm not going anywhere."

"Tell me how we met."

Tony pressed a kiss between his shoulder blades and felt him shiver. "It was at the library at MIT, right before Christmas break, the only day I went in there my first year, I see you facing off with this idiot, probably played linebacker somewhere after he graduated, and I took it upon myself to break his jaw before he said another word to you. I woke up in your arms, and I'd never felt safer in my life, and we were inseparable after that. It was like I had found my missing piece, I had found my heart." He stopped speaking when he could tell from Stephen's breathing that he had drifted off, he wrapped his fingers lightly around his thin wrist and sighed as his breathing matched Stephen's and he, too, was soon fast asleep.


	14. Day 14: In Public

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More from the MIT days...

"I've been looking for you."

Tony looked up to find Stephen smiling uncertainly at him.

"You found me."

"Why don't you ever go home on break?"

"Why don't you?"

"I asked you first."

Tony shrugged and made room for him on the bench, and realized for the first time that evening how cold it actually was. He sometimes forgot he wasn't in California any longer, which made for some cold moments.

"I don't go home because there isn't a reason to. I haven't really lived at home since I was eight, and when I was old enough to understand that they didn't really care if I was there or not, I just chose to stay away. What's your story?"

"My story is that I don't have any family. My parents died when I was young, my aunt took me in, she's gone too now. So I really don't have any place to go. Wanna go in? I can spring for a couple of coffees, the cafeteria lady thinks I'm charming, so stays open later than she's supposed to."

Tony managed a slight grin as he shivered. "Yeah, course she does, Sunshine. Not just yet. We never had really cold nights like this back home. You'd think after all these years. I'd be used to it by now, but I was usually inside, my nose buried in books and whatever -"

Stephen stopped the tumble of chattering words with a brush of warm lips, then wrapped his arms around Tony and breathed in deeply for the first time all afternoon as he leaned against him, and whispered, "thank you for looking for me, Stephen."

Stephen kissed the top of Tony's head, then looked up at the clear December sky and mumbled, "I'll always come looking for you, Stark. Always."


	15. Day 15: In the Dark

Stephen opens his eyes to darkness and shivers as he turns to look for Tony and finds an empty space.

"Tony?"

He sighs as he slowly gets out of bed and makes his way over to the window where Tony is standing, looking out over the city he has saved time and time again, and can tell by how Tony is trembling that the nightmares are back again. He reaches out to lay a hand on his back and breathes out a sigh of relief as Tony leans into his touch, then turns and whimpers against him. All he can do is press his cheek into his hair and hold on as tightly as he can. 

"You're really here," Tony finally whispers into his chest.

"Come back to bed?"

Tony shakes his head and Stephen kisses his hair and holds on even tighter, then watches over the city Tony loves as the man in his arms sobs silently. He wonders, once again, at the idea that of everyone in the world, he is the one that Tony chooses to love, and he is allowed to love him in return. He flinches as Tony draws back from him, and reaches up to wipe away the tears that are falling down his own face that he wasn't even aware of. "Sunshine?"

"It's nothing." His voice sounds off to his own ears and he tries to clear his throat but fails. "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"All the times when I wasn't here. For you. I should have -"

"No, Sunshine. You needed to figure things out. I understood. It was hard, but I did understand, eventually, I just wish I could have been there for you then, as you had been for me. But you're here now, by some miracle - yeah, I know, I don't really believe in them usually, but I can't really explain how and why we are still here together, otherwise."

"I just -"

"Shhh." Tony takes Stephen gently by both hands and leads him back to bed.


	16. Day 16: With Rain Outside

Stephen pressed his hands against the window and closed his eyes. It had started raining the moment Tony had been summoned to the compound, or it could be it only seemed that way. He had offered to go with him, but Tony had kissed him sweetly, then given him a look he'd only seen a few times before, and knew there was a chance he might not make it home. 

"Please -"

"I'll be careful, Sunshine." Tony had looked up at the sky before he had flown off, and whispered, "go inside before you get wet, and keep your hands warm, you know how they get when it rains. I'll be back."

He had watched until he could no longer see him, then went inside, and closed the curtains and tried to meditate, but after a few hours, he opened them again and found he couldn't move from the window. He knew it was ridiculous, and that his hands would pay for it later, but he needed to know the moment Tony was home.

"Sunshine."

"Stark?" He wondered if he was hearing things until he felt Tony's trembling arms wrap around him and heard his uneven breathing at his ear.

"Yeah. It's me, what's left of me at any rate."

Stephen turned in his arms and looked down into Tony's eyes. He swore under his breath, then placed his hands on Tony's bruised face and whispered out a healing spell as he pressed his lips into his damp hair. "Next time -"

"Yeah, Sunshine, next time..." He tucked himself into the warmth of Stephen's chest and breathed out a sigh of relief as Stephen's arms curled softly around him, as the storm continued on outside.


	17. Day 17: With Snow Outside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I seem to be stuck in angsty bits...

Stephen dropped onto the snow covered bench next to Tony and waited.

"I woke up in the cave, but it was summer, instead of winter. I couldn't breathe it was so hot, and I couldn't - I couldn't find you. Yinsen was there, and he wanted to know."

"He wanted to know what?"

Tony looked over at him and whispered, "he wanted to know if I had wasted my life."

Stephen ruffled the snow from Tony's hair, wrapped his coat around him, and asked quietly, "have you?"

Tony shook his head, then leaned against his shoulder, and looked up at the sky, as the snow continued to fall. "No, Sunshine. If I do nothing else in my life, I somehow managed to convince one of the most intelligent men I've ever met that I am worth leaving the house during a blinding snowstorm for. If I am worth that to you, then I have not wasted my life."

Stephen kissed his forehead, draped his arms around him and held him tightly. "I will always, _always_ find you."

"The snow is beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yeah, Stark, it's beautiful."


	18. Day 18: While Someone's Crying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a teeny bit.

There were nights when the darkness was too dark, or his memories were, he wasn't quite sure, but those were the nights when the tears came, which he thought was ridiculous, grown men didn't cry. He couldn't remember crying as a child, it just wasn't done. But Tony seemed to understand. 

If he happened to be asleep, he somehow knew and would tangle his strong fingers into his hair and tug ever so slightly then wrap himself tighter around him, and though it made him feel safe and loved, the tears came harder. 

If awake, he would drop whatever he was doing, pull him into his arms and press his warm lips into his hair. He never asked why or what or who the tears were for, he was just there, keeping him from completely shattering apart. Then he would kiss his hair and smile at him, and dry his tears, and life would go on, each of them a little bit lighter.


	19. Day 19: While Someone's Sick

"Where are you going?" Stephen mumbled as he reached over to turn on the lamp.

Tony groaned out at the sudden brightness of the room."I have work to do on the -"

"Nope."

"Whaddya mean, _'dope'?_" Tony sniffed then rolled his eyes, but didn't have the energy to resist when Stephen gently pulled him back into bed and settled him once more against his shoulder. 

"Close your eyes, and rest, just for today, for me, hmmm?"

"Just for you, Doc," Tony whispered hoarsely, then sighed and let himself drift off to sleep again as Stephen's arms softly curved around him.

Stephen couldn't help but grin into Tony's hair for a moment, before he turned the lamp off again, then sighed as he could feel Tony shiver against him, and realized the next few days were going to be utterly miserable. But then, he considered as he carefully shifted to make Tony more comfortable, they had battled far greater enemies than the mere common cold, and managed to survive. This time would be no different. Before he closed his eyes, he glared up at the ceiling and gave a brief thought as to why not even The Ancient One had a cure for the common cold, then gave up as Tony snuggled even tighter against him, reminding him that sometimes there are not always answers to every question. He buried his face into Tony's hair again, and let the sound of his ragged breathing coax him back to sleep.


	20. Day 20: Post-Proposal

He had promised. 

They had both sworn, and he had meant it, then and up to the moment when he thought he had lost him again, this time for good and forever. But when Tony took a breath on his own again finally, and opened his eyes and even before he knew he was going to be okay, he blurted out, "marry me. Right now, Stark. I don't know why it's important, but it is, and I can't - I don't want to live another moment, another second without you knowing how important you are to me. I know, damn it, I know I promised you, when I came back, that I wouldn't, that we wouldn't and I know I don't have a ring, and there's no minister, or best man or even cake, so it's not official or fancy, but -"

Tony nodded and reached up to place a single trembling finger on Stephen's lips. "I will. I do. And we'll have all that, Doc, after you get yer lovely ass up in this god-awful bed with me, so I don't have to suffer alone." 

Stephen climbed into the terrible hospital bed without another word and whimpered as Tony rested against him and carefully threaded their fingers together. "Sorry for worrying you."

"Wasn't worried."

"Uhm-hmm. Okay. Right." Tony snorted, but didn't say anything else as he felt Stephen's arm gingerly wrap around him and he silently wept into his hair.


	21. Day 21: In the bath

He had learned over the last three years how to live without Stephen, and now that he was back, he was finding it difficult to trust that he wouldn't wake up one morning and find him gone again. No matter how often Stephen told him he wouldn't leave, he still woke up startled to find him there next to him every morning, usually he was wide awake already, just watching him. He wondered what he was thinking about, what he thought about him, specifically. As he opened his mouth to speak that morning, Stephen placed a trembling finger on his lips, then slipped out of their bed and walked to his side, then helped him to stand and led him to the bathroom.

As it was broad daylight, there were no candles lit, but the lights were low, and there was a scent of something that was familiar, but he couldn't quite identify, probably some magical potion Stephen had concocted in those hours when he studied alone in his study.

"Bubble bath, Stark. It's just bubble bath. I've noticed you've been under a lot of stress lately, and I remember -"

Tony blinked up at him and Stephen undressed him without a word, helped him into tub, then grinned as he heard the sigh escape from his lips. "Mr. Bubble. You do remember -"

Stephen slipped out of his pants and eased into the tub behind him, and breathed into his hair, "I remember everything, Tony, every single thing about you. About us."

Tony closed his eyes and whimpered as Stephen ran his fingers through his hair, then began to wash it. "How could you - how could you leave me, then, and stay away for so long?" He had never meant to ask him, he had never wanted to go there. "Shit. -"

Stephen rinsed his hair then draped his arms around him. "After the accident, before I regained consciousness, I knew you were there, you never left my side except when you had to. You didn't sleep, you just talked to me, told me stories you hadn't ever told me before, dreams you had that I couldn't be a part of if my hands wouldn't heal - dreams that you would have given up to take care of me, and I didn't want that for you. I couldn't do that to you. That's why when I was able to, I asked them to stop you from visiting, so you could get on with your life, and I could figure out what to do with mine. I realized when I got to Kamar-Taj that you were my life, just as you always had been. I trained only to come back to you, but then I was afraid you wouldn't want me back. The Ancient One knew that, they saw I was torn between becoming what I could have been, and you. It was simple fear that made me stay so long." He reached for Tony's hands and threaded their fingers together. "I saw amazing things I can't even begin to explain to you, I experienced things - but without you, it didn't matter. I knew you would find me, and I knew you were braver than me, you always were. When you asked me to come home, when I knew you still wanted me, there wasn't even a decision to be made. I know you don't trust me when I tell you I won't leave you again, I hope one day you will."

Tony rolled in his arms and straddled his legs, then looked into the bright green eyes and whispered, "tell me again. Tell me one last time, and I'll believe you."

Stephen blinked back tears and nodded, then whispered back, "I'm here, Stark, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere without you ever again."

Tony sank against his chest and wrapped his arms around him tightly and sighed as he felt the tears fall over him. "I believe you, Sunshine. I believe you."


	22. Day 22: Congratulatory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after the wedding...

"That was ridiculous," Stephen mumbled as Tony's fingers quickly pulled his tie from his collar and began on his buttons. 

"Yes. It was. You were right."

"About?"

"It should have been just us. Like you wanted. Not that circus."

"It doesn't matter, the end result is the same, isn't it?" Stephen grinned against Tony's lips, then drew back and pulled the shirt over his head, then pushed Tony's tuxedo jacket from his shoulders. "We are married. Finally. Circus or not. We survived. As we always do, somehow." He watched as Tony slowly undid his buttons, until it was too much for him, and he simply magicked the shirt away.

"Impatient, are we?"

"Hmmm." Stephen easily lifted Tony into his arms and carried him to their bed, then slipped in next to him and curled around him. 

"You do clean up nicely, though," Tony mumbled as he rolled to look into Stephen's eyes. "And it was a good party."

"Yes, it was. Though, you know -"

"Yeah, Sunshine. We should have eloped." He sighed against Stephen's chest as the sorcerer's arms curved around him, and held him gently as he drifted off to sleep.


	23. Day 23: Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Afghanistan...

Stephen bit his lip as he caught his first glimpse of Tony after three months. Rhodey lifted him gently from the wheelchair, and he could see from how tightly Tony held on to him, how much pain he was actually in, though he did everything he could not to let it show in his eyes. He snorted and rolled his eyes as Tony sent the stretcher away, then let go of Rhodey's hand and stood up a bit straighter before he limped over and walked into his outstretched arms.

He had sworn to himself the moment he received the call from Rhodey letting him know that Tony had been found and would be on his way home in a couple of days, that he would be strong enough to deal with whatever had happened, and for two days he worked nonstop so he wouldn't have time to think about what Tony had been through the last three months. 

Now, as Tony shook in his arms, he felt exhausted tears fill his eyes, and all he could do was bury his face into Tony's hair, longer than he ever remembered - it held the familiar scent of a hospital, that antiseptic greenish smell that he had never grown accustomed to, even after all the years of training, he couldn't wait to wash it from his skin after each shift. At that moment, he realized he hadn't been there when he had needed him most. He should have - they should have called him the minute they found him, so he could have been there when he woke up from - no. He wouldn't have wanted that, he knew himself that he wouldn't have wanted Tony to sit by his bedside, unable to do anything, but wait. He pressed a kiss into Tony's hair, then cleared his throat and whispered hoarsely, "home?"

Tony nodded against his chest, then mumbled, "but first -"

"Cheeseburgers."

Tony nodded again, then pulled away to finally look up into his eyes, and shook his head as he wiped Stephen's tears away. "I'm back, Doc."

"I know." He leaned down and kissed his forehead, then helped him into the car, and held him tightly as he settled into his lap and fell asleep. "Missed you," he mumbled as he laid his hand into Tony's hair, then leaned back into the seat and closed his eyes as he felt Tony tremble against him. "Missed you so much."


	24. Day 24: Between Strangers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Stephen's return... strangers, but not.

At a sound from the doorway, Tony looked away from the work that he wasn't able to focus on, and found Stephen standing there. Without a word, he rose from his chair and walked over to the man he had known and loved for more than half of his life; he had once known and shared most of his joys and sorrows, but now, as he hesitantly reached for his hand, he realized how little he knew of him.

As if reading his mind, honestly, he very well could be, he wasn't sure, Stephen lifted his hand to his lips, then lowered it, pressing it gently over his heart. Tony couldn't help but close his eyes and after a long moment, he recognized the strong, steady beat of his heart under his fingertips, the heart he had known for so long. And as Stephen curved his arm around him and buried his face in his hair as he always had, he knew it was just a matter of time before he would relearn the rest of him.


	25. Day 25: A Cuddle and a Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First kiss...

"... and that's Sirius. The brightest star in ..." Stephen turned his head to find Tony looking at him, instead of the night sky. "What?"

"It's just -"

Stephen rolled his eyes upward, and sighed, "what?"

"It might sound cheesy -" Tony cleared his throat, then turned onto his side and looked down into Stephen's eyes. "But, honestly, I could listen to you all night babble away about what's up there, but I'd rather tell you how beautiful your eyes are -" his voice faded as Stephen's fingers reached into his hair, and pulled him into an awkward, but sweet kiss.

They both froze, then Tony grinned against his lips and returned the kiss, before he rested his head on Stephen's chest and closed his eyes as Stephen's arms wrapped around him. "Can we just stay here forever?"

"You'd want to stay with me forever?" Stephen asked quietly.

After a moment, Tony whispered back, "there's no other place I'd rather be, but in your arms."

Stephen snorted, then pressed a kiss into his hair. "You're ridiculous."

"I've been called worse." He opened his eyes again and pointed up at the sky. "Tell me about that one."

"The red one? That's Betelgeuse, from the Arabic, means 'the armpit of Orion...'"

Tony laughed out loud, then sighed as Stephen tightened his arms around him, and he drifted off to sleep to the sound of Stephen's voice.


	26. Day 26: In lieu of kissing

Tony looked into the sparkling silver eyes and watched as they slowly darkened, but then heard something in his voice as he whispered his name. He had never heard him sound so fragile, almost broken, and he wished he could kiss whatever it was away, but instinctively, he knew it wasn't what he needed or wanted at that moment. He drew him into his arms and tried to think of something clever to say to change the mood, but he understood, more than anyone, that sometimes cleverness didn't help, and he whispered into his hair, "Sunshine, I'm here, just hold on, hold on to me."


	27. Day 27: First Cuddle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is more of a first cuddle after a battle, as I already wrote their first cuddle on Day 9...

"Sunshine? Stephen. Strange. DOC! Damn it, open your eyes. You have to open your eyes. For me. Please?"

Stephen took a shuddering breath in and coughed and after a moment slowly opened one eye, then the other, and offered him a sheepish grin, before muttering, "Stark, stop yelling, I can hear you just fine."

Tony swore under his breath, wiped the mud from his face and whispered fiercely, "don't ever do that to me again. I thought -"

Stephen tried to sit up, but Tony's arms held him fast, so he blinked into the warm brown eyes that he knew and loved so well, and mumbled, "remember when I married you, what did I say? What did I promise you?"

Tony closed his eyes and breathed out softly, "you promised me, you swore, you wouldn't ever leave me again."

"Have I kept that promise?"

"Yes, but -"

"I died thousands of times to get home to you, it will take more than a mere concussion and a few bruised ribs to get rid of me so easily, Stark." He bit his lip as he watched Tony's face turn ashen, and he realized he had finally told him the one thing he had sworn he would never tell him.

"Stephen?"

"Tony. Love. Please, can you forget - it's just the concussion talking. Help me up so we can go home?"

Tony nodded, and carefully helped him to his feet, but held on tightly, as if afraid he would vanish if he let him go, then watched as Stephen created a portal back to their bedroom in the Sanctum.


	28. Day 28: Familiar Cuddle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> continuation of day 27...

Tony slowly unwrapped Stephen's robes, and ran his fingers lightly over him, feeling for new injuries, and noting old scars for the first time. Stephen caught his hand and pressed a kiss over his palm. "I didn't tell you because I didn't think it mattered."

"That concussion must be worse than I thought," Tony rumbled back, but he stretched out next to him, gathering him into his arms as he had so many times before. "How -"

"There wasn't an option, I had just been made a master, not because I was skilled, but because I was lucky, and once I understood my power didn't come from my hands, but through them, I let my instincts do the rest, and I broke so many rules, I'm sure the ripples of what I did are still felt through... sorry, I did it to stop a dark force from taking over the planet-"

"Did what, precisely?"

"I put myself in a time loop in order to antagonize -"

"Stephen."

"I allowed him to kill me over and over again until he became frustrated enough so I could bargain for Earth - for you."

Tony murmured softly, "the nightmares you don't tell me about."

"All that mattered to me was making sure you would be okay. That's when I knew I couldn't stay there. My heart, my head, and everything that I am, belongs to you, with you, always has. I -"

Tony rolled them gently so he could look into Stephen's eyes. "You know how much - god, Stephen. And people think I've done stupid ass stuff... sorry. I just - damn." He rested his head on his chest carefully and traced a long scar that ran along his ribs. "I'm sorry you went through that alone, I - you know I would've done the same for you, don't you."

"Yes, I do. We're both idiots that way."

Tony snorted and reached for his hand and threaded their fingers together. "Rest, Sunshine. I'll wake you in a couple of hours."

"Tony."

"Yeah, I love you, too, Sunshine. Now, rest."


	29. Day 29: Last Cuddle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since I don't write last anything, this will be their last cuddle before Tony undergoes the surgery to remove the last of the shrapnel.

"Why am I doing this again?" Tony asked quietly.

Stephen rolled his eyes and sighed as he ran his fingers through Tony's hair. They had gone through this discussion slash non-discussion time and time again since Tony had decided to have the remaining shrapnel removed from his chest and shoulders. He knew all the pros and cons, there were lists scattered in every room of the Sanctum, and he understood Tony's biggest fear, of going under and not waking up. The odds of that happening were small, infinitesimal, but as a former surgeon, he knew things just happened sometimes.

He smiled down at him and whispered, "because you can, now. Because we decided to retire, together."

"I know, it's just -"

"Yeah, I know."

"Will you?"

Stephen nodded, and slipped into the hospital bed, and sighed as Tony draped his arm over his hip, and tucked himself tightly into the warmth of his arms. "You won't let go."

"I won't let go." He pressed his face into his hair and breathed him in, and waited for the drugs to take over. 

"Love you, Sunshine..." were Tony's last words as he went under.

"Yeah, me too."

He paced the hallways he had once dashed through as a young man, now, he was reminded again of what he could lose if fate had other plans for him, for them. Hours seemed like days until Christine finally caught him by the arm and sat him down.

"Take a breath, Stephen, he's fine. We got all the shrapnel out, there was just more than we thought. He's going to be sore, for a while, and it's going to take time to heal. I know you said you two were done with saving the world and all that, but, I know how you two get when you're bored, take him to a nice, peaceful dimension for a couple of months, but not too peaceful. You can go sit with him, he's going to be disoriented, when he wakes up - you know the drill." 

She smiled gently at him and he gave her a curious glance. "What?"

"He's a lucky guy, to have you."

He shook his head and mumbled, "no. I've always been the fortunate one, Palmer. Thank you, for taking care of him for me."

"It's been my pleasure, Doc. You take of yourself now."

"Yeah, I'll try."

She shook her head at him, then stood up and left him on his own again. He let out a deep sigh of relief as he got to his feet and went in search of Tony's room.

"Sunshine?" Tony whispered in a rough voice.

"I'm here." 

"Damn. Everything hurts, Stephen."

"I know, it will be that way for a while, but it will get better. I'm going to press the button, so you can rest now."

"Wait."

"Tony."

"I just want to - will you hold my hand?"

"Yeah, of course."

"And just talk to me? Doesn't matter what - just wanna hear your ridiculous voice..." He closed his eyes as Stephen threaded their fingers together and pressed the button.

"I paced the hallways while they were working on you, and I thought about all the things I still wanted to tell you..."

"Like what?" Tony mumbled.

"Like how I love how stubborn you are, how you leave snacks all over the Sanctum, drives Wong up the wall, but I know he secretly appreciates them, especially the blueberries, I bet you knew that. Didn't you?" He stopped as he knew from the sound of Tony's breathing that he was asleep again, but then went on talking, just in case. "I think we'll go on a nice long vacation, there are dimensions you've never seen, peaceful places I've never even been to, because I don't mess with what isn't broken... you might get bored, but I'll be there, hopefully I won't bore you..."


	30. Day 30: Out of Necessity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last prompt from the list of cuddles, if you want a cuddle you haven't read, just let me know in a comment, or email me, or find me on tumblr... you know who I am. ;) (notjustamumj - don't ask)
> 
> One last angsty-ish bit, for some reason these two produced more angst than fluff, they do tend to be dramatic... sigh.

"Tony?" Stephen searched the house, and was about to wander the streets to find him when JARVIS cleared his throat.

"Sir."

"Yes, JARVIS?"

"He is in his workroom."

"I checked there."

"Apologies, sir, but did you happen to check under his desk."

Stephen sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Might I suggest a blanket and pillows."

"One of those nights."

"Yes, sir."

"Thank you, JARVIS."

Stephen collected the warmest quilt he could find and a couple of pillows and quietly made his way down to the workroom. On occasion, there had been nights since Tony's return that he had needed the security of a small space, not unlike those times when Stephen would need to hide in that place where his aunt knew where to look for him, but no one else did, when he was a boy. 

He knelt down and whispered, "Tony?"

"Doc?"

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Sorry."

Stephen somehow twisted his lanky form under the desk and found Tony curled up and shivering. A _very_ bad night. He placed a pillow where Tony could reach for it, then dropped his own and laid down in front of him, where he could see him, and pulled the quilt over them both before reaching out to touch Tony's hand. "I'm here. You know you never have to apologize to me, when you have a bad night."

"I do - you won't be able to move tomorrow -"

"I'll use one of my sick days, they owe me a few."

"Stephen."

"I'm here, Tony, I'm here." He wrapped his arm around him and drew him gingerly into his chest, and whispered, "I'm here, my heart. Rest now, tomorrow will be better."


End file.
